She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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