I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
