Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
