I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
