You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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