My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
