Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
