i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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