I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
