Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
