My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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