just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
