yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
