somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
