The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
