he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
