Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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