my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How's work?
Spinning.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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