you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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