Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
where are my eyebrows?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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