I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
