your parents love me but you hate me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
