We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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