theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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