I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
honey bunches of taint.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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