it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
