He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
