At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
