Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
