You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
