Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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