i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
