I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
