tell your sister to shave her snatch
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
