I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
