Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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