the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
