Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
