Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
