We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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