College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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