What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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