i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
