it wasn't lemon gatorade
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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