I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
