Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
