There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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