Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
