I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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