can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
