I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
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