Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
